I finally finished them! A few days ago on Instagram I posted this…
I figured if I declared it publicly, then I really would finish those stockings. And I did. It has taken me six years to get them done, though. Bambino’s stocking was done right away. Don’t worry! That child has not been deprived in any way! But when I started this project, I actually prepared for five stockings. Infertility has its way of making even the simplest projects a little more painful at times.
I made Bambino’s stocking for his second Christmas when he was 18 months old. But I was working at a church when I started this project, so getting one stocking done that Christmas season was an accomplishment.
Every year since then I have had a reminder set on my calendar: “October 15 — finish the Christmas stockings.” And every year I snoozed and then rescheduled that reminder. It made me angry. It made me anxious. And it made me sad.
You see, these Christmas stockings became so much more than decorations for me. Sitting together in a drawer in my office were the embroidered pieces for stockings that are not to be. When I made Bambino’s stocking, I embroidered a few extra pieces in hopes that perhaps lightning would strike twice, and we would have a second miracle baby.
But a few weeks before Bambino’s third Christmas, the doctors told us definitively that it just wouldn’t happen. We were a one-and-done family. That Christmas was one of quiet grief. We clutched Bambino closer, treasured his chatter and his joy all the more, and contemplated a change in our life’s storyline.
The next Christmas we were packing to move across the Bay. The following Christmas we moved across the country. And the next we moved back to California. Each year I snoozed that reminder and reset it for the coming year, hoping that it would be a little less busy, a little less agonizing to finish those stockings.
I’m not sure how it happened, but here we are with three finished stockings — Mama, Daddy, and Bambino — hanging on the mantle. It is done. The other bits of embroidery are tucked away — they won’t ever be stockings, but perhaps some sweet pillows for the window seat.
And my heart is full.
To read a bit about how I created these Christmas stockings, click the link below!